I Finally Realized
by hpotter.is.hotter
Summary: A sequel to To Be a Firework by alechia at hpff don't worry,I got permission. After hogwarts life didn't go as planned for Hermione. Ron went off and married Lavander. Still apart of his life, she decides to finally move on. Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Hermione's POV

It is now ten years after that fireworks show when I, Hermione Granger, discovered that to the world I was invisible and to Ron I was just a friend. I was just a friend that he was oblivious to the true feelings of, and now with Lavander Brown as his wife, nothing could change that.

While going through my life being alone I learned to adapt to it; At now the age of 27 I never really dated much for I guess to the whole world I was just another being. I remember Ron's wedding...just sitting watching the wedding that crushed me inside and that was the official end to my thoughts of ever being with Ron. I now look back and realized how much of Ron's life that I'd been apart of. The birth of his 4 kids, all the birthdays, babysitting, being the designated apparator for when him and harry went out drinking. I guess I just realized how much of a background to Ron's life I was. Maybe that's why I decided to move on and just live my life. Maybe that's why I decided to take that editor's job in Berlin.

Chapter 1

Ron's POV

Ugh what a busy a day. I have to go to the office, pick up Lavander's dry cleaning and get the kids from quidditch practice and that wizard chess tournament...

After finishing a quick lunch at the little cafe by the ministry I walked back to the office and took the elavator up to my office. While walking back to my cubicle, I noticed a little barn owl sitting on the top of it. Hmm..that one looked like Weera, Hermione's owl. It had a neatly addressed envelope tied to it's foot, and the handwriting looked of Hermione's too. I untied the letter and pulled an owl treat from a bag in the inside of my desk and gave it to her. The owl hooted a sign of thanks and flew out the open window down the hall. I set Hermione's letter aside in my breifcase, deciding I would get to it later after I finished all my paperwork. Damn bludger reports seemed a little bit more important right now anyway.

After finishing up my hours I picked up the drycleaning and the kids I flooed home and set my breifcase down in my study.

"Hey beautiful" I told Lavander handing her her clothes and giving her a peck on the lips.

"Thanks hun." she said smiling. God I loved her.

It was then at that moment that I remembered Hermione's letter. "I'll be right back hun, I have to quickly read some letters from the office." I told Lavander.

"Okay, alright, but dinner will be ready soon okay? And we can put the kids to bed early tonight if you want..." she said with a suggestive smile.

I shivered inside with delight. "Alright"

I pulled the letter out of the breifcase and walked over to my study. I then ripped it open and pulled out the parchment inside. Hermione's neat scrawl filled up the page and I started to read:

_Dear Ron,_

_How've you been? Haven't talked to you since yesterday when I dropped some cookies off at your house for you and kids. I myself am fine I just wanted to let you know that I got a job offer for an editor position in Berlin! Isn't that great? I probably won't be able to visit much because I'll be swamped with work all the time, but you understand right? You'll be too busy with the kids and work to even notice that I'm gone! Well, I send everyone my love, hope to hear from you soon. I have to go pack!_

_Love, _

_Hermione_

My stomach gave a lurch at her sickeningly sweet tone. She sounded so happy, more than I'd ever seen her as in years.

"Hey Lav, I'm gonna go out for a little bit okay? I have to go pick somethin' up at the office. I promise I won't be long!" I called to her.

"Alright, just don't be long okay?" she replied.

"Uh huh!" I said, and with that I apparated with a _pop_ outside of Hermione's flat. I slowly knocked at the door but no one answered. I knocked again a few more times and then decided that Hermione wouldnt care if I just went right in. I apparated inside and looked around. Her usual warm inviting flat was bare and everything was gone. I continued to look around, horrified as I realized that she was already gone. I went down the hall to her bedroom and found everything there too was gone...all except a tiny notebook in the middle of the floor.

I caustiously sat down and opened it, when I discovered that it was Hermione's diary. I flipped through noticing her neat composition when I got to the last entry titled from today.

_Dear Diary,_

_Well...I decided to take the offer in Berlin...I'm leaving tonight at 7. I finally decided it was time to move on with my own life, and by taking this job it would finally give me closure from Ron. I will always love him, but he will never love me back...I mean he's married now with kids and I don't really have a place to be apart of it. Harry and Ginny are married too, but they too are busy with their 5 kids, ha, can you believe it? Our own Harry Potter with no family to speak of now has 5 beautiful kids and a wife. I used to want those things too...a husband and kids...but after the fireworks back in 7th year...when Ron proposed to Lavander...that was the end to that dream. I thank you for being here with me...not letting me believe that I'm completly invisible even though the whole world did, especially Ron. But what do you expect from a guy that didn't realize you're a girl until your fourth year? I'm going to leave you here diary because this is the ultimate sign of closure: moving away from my past and these memories. Who knows if I will ever see you ,or Ron, again...or if he will ever see me for me_

_Hermione_

I finished reading the page when I found tears well up in my eyes with the final realazation that Hermione had wanted me to see all these years. She was in love with me for seventeen years I didn't do a damn thing about it. I admitt, I was in love with her too...but then I gave up on the thought of her loving me too and found Lavander. But now, what made me even more mad is that I only missed her by ten minutes as I watched the clock turn it's hand to 7:10. I guess it made up for the ten years to late that I already was..

But why? Why did she say I never saw her?! I saw her every time she came over...but maybe...maybe I never actually saw her for who...who she was..

I realized that Hermione was there my whole life and I only saw her for a fixture that would always be there...like a mother or father a child never expects to die...but now Hermione left and it was as though I was that child realizing how much they had done for me and how I never thanked them for it. Realizing that I never told her I loved her and how much she meant to me.

I never thought it was true that you never see the good things until their gone...and with Hermione...no one saw her for the good things she was. I felt as weakened as a child...no matter how much I prayed...my actions have been made and Hermione would never be back fully...no matter how many times I saw her. She had moved on...just like the parents of a little child who thought they'd live forever. She was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still. --_ Lou Erickso_**

Chapter 2

Ron's POV

My mind was buzzing with the new found information of Hermione's departure as I apparated myself back home. I felt as though I myself needed some closure, or at least a way to get her back. But how? I read it myself, Hermione had finally let go of all her emotions for me and she had moved on. I sighed as the smell of my wife's cooking wafted under my nose; even that reminded me of Hermione.

Come to think of it, everything in this house has part of Hermione with it in spirit. The nursery that she helped me paint and the shelves in the living room that she helped me put to together. I had to do something to get her back, but what? Like she said she I was married to Lavander and had kids of my own, what purpose could she be to me? Well I'll tell her what: a friend. My best friend.

"Hun? Is that you?" Lavander called and turned the corner and saw my nonplussed face. "What's wrong dear?"

"Uh, nothing just got some bad news..." I said. I wasn't lying, it was bad news.

"Oh my god, did someone die?!" she asked me bewildered.

"No, it's nothing like that...it's just that Hermione moved to Berlin..." I replied looking at the floor.

"Oh...that's all?" she shrugged and went back to finishing up dinner. "You had me worried there for a minute."

"Lav, this is a big deal to me, I mean...she was my best friend since I was eleven."

"Ugh, whatever. You know I never really liked her anyway, so I'm not exactly sad she's gone. I mean she was good for helping with the housework and stuff like that. You know, I actually used to think that you were in love with her! I really only started going out with you because it was fun to watch her get sooooo worked up over the two of us. But then we fell in love and now our lives are perfect aren't they darling?" Lavander said, throwing her arms dramatically around Ron's neck.

I stood shocked at the person before him. This new side of Lavander was not the woman he married, or even liked for that matter. Maybe now that Hermione's gone, I'm really seeing the true side of Lavander all along.

I pushed myself away from my wife and looked at her with repulsed eyes. I gave her a long hard stare before saying, "I have to go." in an almost chilling tone.

"Wait, what's wrong baby? Was it something I said?" she said playing stupid to the situation that was taking the snow ball effect on the whole thing.

"Yes, it was something you said. Don't expect me back tonight okay? I have to go." I turned and walked out the door not looking back. I could hear Lavander's pleading cries to bring me back but the words she said stung and pierced through me like knives. I apparated myself over to Harry's flat and looked around trying to find my black-haired bespectacled friend.

"Harry!" I called out, hoping he was home. Soon, him and Ginny were bounding down the stairs looking at me with scared eyes. Their hair was tousled and Ginny's shirt was on backwards but I ignored the thoughts that were crossing through my head.

"What's wrong Ron? Did something happen to Lavander? The kids?" Harry asked, looking at his friend with the utmost concern.

"No, it's Hermione, she left!" I said frantically, as if hoping that my urgency would bring Hermione back.

Harry and Ginny looked at each other, clearly showing that this was no new piece of information.

"Um, listen Ron...we're sorry, but didn't know before this? She said she sent you a letter." Ginny said quietly.

"Yeah she did, but I put it off until later and when I finally opened it and went over there she was gone!" I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes again.

"Listen mate, there's not much we can do...besides...your married...and it's not as if you'll never see 'Mione again." Harry lightly.

"But you don't understand...I love her, and she loves - loved - me and she's gone and I found this side of Lavander that I really hate...and I don't know that to do!" Ron spilled, letting every emotion sink out that he was feeling that night.

Harry and my sister stood shocked, mouths agape at my confession. "Ron...you have to go after her" Ginny said finally.

"But...I don't even have her address...how am I suppose to find her?" I ask, my voice wavering.

"I have it mate, don't worry...here" Harry said, handing me a slip of parchment. "Take the floo over to her flat and tell her everything that you just told us. Okay? Everything will be okay." My friend patted me on the shoulder and led me over to his fireplace. I took a pinch of floo powder and gave Harry a nod of gratitude as I tossed in my powder and stepped into the hearth.

"1413 Clemming Place, Berlin!" I shouted. I felt the familiar lurch of my stomach as I was sucked into the lanes of twisting fireplaces and felt myself tumble out of the fire and onto soft carpet rolling and hitting my head on something pointed and hard.

"OOOOOWW!" I heard myself moan and I saw that I collided with a table corner.

"Ron?" someone said behind me.

I looked up and noticed the familiar chocolate brown eyes and curly brown hair of Hermione's.

"Hermione?!" I asked, not expecting this moment to be real.

"Ron what are you doing here? In Berlin?! At midnight?!" she asked me, checking to see if I was okay.

"Midnight?" I asked confused.

"The time difference silly." she replied.

"Oh, right." I smiled. God she was smart.

"So, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?" she asked, a mixture of concern, worry and happiness filling her soft complexion.

"No...it's just..I never got to say good bye...and 'Mione, I love you...I finally realized how much you mean to me...and I finally was able to see you for you.

Hermione looked stunned at the sound of Ron's words. She had waited so long for him to say those words to her...but now was the worst time to hear them.

"Ron, your married...you have kids...I'm on the other side of the continent...and.." but she was cut off as a broad shouldered Bulgarian man stepped into the room.

"Vhy, hello Veazly, it's good to see you again." Victor Krum said with his sloppy English accent.

The familiar feeling of my body once again tensing up and having the life sucked out of it engulfed me as I saw the scene before me. Hermione wasn't kidding when she meant she moved on.

"Um...Ron...you'd better go...I'll talk to soon.." Hermione said cautiously.

I nodded numbly and walked over to her fireplace gaining enough energy to go back to leave. Instead of going home or going to Harry's house I went to the one place where this all started: Hogwarts.

I felt myself land in the grate by the gates of Hogsmeade and stumbled out onto the thickening street of snow. I walked out the lane to Hogwart's grounds and stopped outside near Hagrid's abandoned hut. I looked at the spot where my life took a turn in the wrong direction, where I had proposed to Lavander only feet away, unaware of Hermione's prescence in this exact spot. I sank down onto the ground and looked out onto the lake. It glowed with the eerie wave of moonlight that swept over it. I looked out over it's watery horizon hopefully as though fireworks would rocket up into the air and time would turn around 10 years. I again felt tears course down my cheeks for the fourth time that night. Was this how Hermione felt? Was this how it felt to watch someone you love take a different path of life and have it not point towards you? Was this how she felt? So invisible and oblivious to the world as it continues to spin and follow it's course, not stopping to wait for you. I wished I had only seen this coming ten years ago when I made the wrong choice. It was now I finally realized how Hermione felt. I felt abandoned by her and by myself. I finally realized what it was like to not be needed and invisible to someone you love.

Yeah, I know! Very dramatic Ron! But R&R and tell me what you think. Also, go over to and read the first story to this, "To Be a Firework" by alechia. The ending might make more sense, but you can still understand it without reading. But seriously it's really good and very moving. REVIEW!! Love you guys.

By the way, yes this was the ending. As alechia said in her story , this is sometimes the way life goes. Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE ron hermione shipper and I get mad at my own story for how it turned out...but this is our world and this is how it sometime's turns out. JK shows us the world of magic but behind all the glitzy trama is true life. Abusive parents/guardians? Death of someone you love? Love between a beauty and a geek? Stuff like this really happens if you take a look around. Alechia didn't want me to just slap a happy ending on a story to make everyone feel good because that's not what writing's about. Writing's about grabbing at a feeling and bringing it to the surface. I really hope this isn't how it turns out for Ron in Hermione in the real books, but this is the point of fiction anyway.


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